


Now that I've introduced myself, I should like to have some idea of what's going on

by hapax (hapaxnym)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crack, Gen, Gilbert & Sullivan References, Song Parody, Sorry Not Sorry, no one asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:53:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hapaxnym/pseuds/hapax
Summary: He is the very model of an angel named Aziraphale.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	Now that I've introduced myself, I should like to have some idea of what's going on

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long month.

I am the very model of an angel named Aziraphale

The Guardian of the Eastern Gate, and at duty I will never quail

I know the ancient texts and quote prophecies historical

From Sybils to St. John, and any other oracle

I'm very well acquainted with all form of classic literatures

I restore most antique tomes, scrolls, medieval miniatures

About a vintage pairing, I’m ready with some sound advice

From a chipper Beaujolais to a Cabernet with hint of spice

From Heaven’s Plan Ineffable I’ve sworn that I shall not stray

(Although once in Eden I did give a flaming sword away}

In short, in matters that pertain to Heaven, Earth, or to Hell

I am the very model of an angel named Aziraphale

I took part in human history, with King Arthur and at Runnymede

I was there at Noah’s Flood, I sponsored Shakespeare’s funny reads

I'm very good at miracles, I know how to bless and to inspire

I even (as a favor) conducted some temptations dire

I obfuscate Archangels, from Gabriel to Sandalphon

I can lie to the Almighty, I can summon up the Metatron

I can whistle any aria from Montaverdi to Borodin

I even tolerate that infernal bebop sung by Queen

I can recall in detail ev’ry dish of which I've had a sniff

Then I can quote the recipe in cuneiform and hieroglyph

In short, in matters that pertain to Heaven, Earth, or to Hell

I am the very model of an angel named Aziraphale

In fact, when I find out about "internet" or "mobile phone"

When I can differentiate a “Wahoo" from a “wiggle on”

When of guillotines and Nazi fiends I learn to be more vigilant

When I can tell at sight emojis from a dread sigil, and

When I can do magic tricks more David Blaine than blundery

When I can trace an Antichrist from a Satanic nunnery

When I can thwart a demon from Holy Water suicide

You'll never ask for a better angel standing on your side

And with a hidden bastard-y, concealed beneath an aspect mild

I maintain the whole aesthetic of my dear departed Oscar Wilde

But still, in matters that pertain to Heaven, Earth, or to Hell

I am the very model of an angel named Aziraphale!


End file.
